“Hello! My name is Lilly NOTSOWHITE.
I am a recovering addict, with a penchant for apples,
Genetically modified and soaked in harsh chemicals.
I suffered a reaction triggered by an overdose,
That threw me off balance, rendering me comatose.
As I was emerging from my drug induced torpor,
The first thought in my mind, stripped from its usual armor,
Was that I should seriously consider getting myself a faith lift.
Intrigued, I staggered out of bed and tip toed on wobbly legs
Toward the Truth Mirror I had purchased on a whim
At a fairy tale auction where I had placed the only bid.
“Mirror, Mirror, please tell me what do you see looking at me?”
“Since you ask so candidly, your request I shall honor
And dish out straightforwardly the opinion I harbor:
Your Faith has been sagging of late, it could use some lifting.”
My jaw dropped.
I stared in disbelief at the offending Mirror.
“Either you are losing your magic touch or my hearing is failing me…
Would you please repeat slowly what you just spoke so hastily?”
“YOUR FAITH HAS BEEN SAGGING OF LATE, IT COULD USE SOME LIFTING.”
“A faith lift? Isn’t that way too drastic?”
“It is what it will take to get you back in shape.
Due to lack of exercise, your soul muscles are sagging.
This is not a pretty sight, forgive me for so saying.
You are in dire need of some spiritual focus.
What I state is for real; do not think it is bogus.
Get on your knees, do some pushups!
Read Self-Help books, keep your chin up!
I promise that in no time you will reap great results:
Your faith will be toned, your being will be sculpted.
As you reform your lifestyle, upgrading your priorities,
You will start feeling the pull of spiritual gravity.
This non invasive procedure will trigger quite a shift
That will quickly actualize that much needed faith lift.
A daredevil you will become and, fastened to some bungees,
You will take a leap of faith that will make you utterly free.”