“You cannot develop strong characters out of the indulgence of self-pity.” [UB Paper 159, Section 3]
Thought Adjuster: “What if you could go back in time and revisit some unpleasant experiences to upgrade them?
“It would indeed exert a great healing influence on such sore points of your life—the moments that were not lived to their fullest because they were not colored with the vibrancy of love and happiness. This could be compared to the process of adding colors to old black and white movies in order to enhance their viewing experience.
“Indeed, you can go back in time mentally and zoom on some of your life occurrences from such a perspective. Were they colored with love? Use your heart as a scanner and you will know for sure. It may be that you failed to acknowledge the love contained in those situations of the tough love category. This is frequently the case for immature children. Yet, as they grow up, they come to realize that there were subtle and undetectable layers of love present even amidst such disappointing outcomes.
“However, there were also situations when your heart was love-starved, due to emotional neglect or abuse. By recalling them in hindsight, it is within your power to give them a happy ending—just as a filmmaker retakes a scene until he is satisfied with its feel.
“You have been gifted with a powerful imagination and visualization skills. Put them to greater use! Rather than whining about past hurtful memories, apply loving brush strokes to them. Haven’t you made it so far? Such situations were indeed building blocks for who you are now and this more mature version of you can address these past events using the skills it has acquired over time.
“A great shift in such a forgiveness process occurs when you no longer feel their negative emotional charges of resentment and bitterness—having traded them for the positive and transmuting one of gratitude. You can now give yourself the love you failed to receive. You can be compassionate toward the younger you by allowing him to voice his sorrows and ‘kissing them better’. This is how you drain your past from the darkness it harbored—becoming able to look at it from its brighter side.”